How can I be more confident? Everybody wants to be confident. And the thing is, most of us aren’t quite there, myself included, here’s the thing. I wanna start with one high-level thought and then one more lower-level thought that has a little model that I wanna describe for all of you. First of all, the high-level thought is – get older. I know, that sounds really funny, but I was told this as a young person, an anxious young person, a worried young person, a person who thought I was no good at anything. I was told this all the time “Just wait until you’re older”.
Older People Are Confident
It’s true, and now I’m a little older. I’m not as old as everyone, I’m 39 years old, and you know what, it’s so true. As you get older, you naturally become more confident. You’re more comfortable with who you are, you’re more comfortable saying what’s on your mind, you’re more comfortable whether people agree with it or don’t agree with it. It comes with age. I just wanna tell you that because we go all over YouTube, we’re always looking for quick fixes and easy answers, well one big thing for confidence is just age, let’s start with that. Now, I said I would promise you a little more tactical advice as well. How do you be more confident?
Here’s the thing: there’s a two by two matrix. It is your opinion of yourself. It can be low or it can be high and it is your opinion of others, can be low or it can be high. What do you call yourself when you have a low opinion of yourself and a low opinion of others? Do you know what that’s called? Cynical! You are cynical, you don’t think anything’s good, you don’t think you’re good, you don’t think other people are good. Now, what if you think you’re awesome, a high opinion of yourself, but still a low opinion of others? That would be called arrogance. You’re arrogant, you think you’re great, but you don’t think anyone else is.
High Opinion of Others, a Low Opinion of Yourself?
Okay, what about the other extreme? Where you think, this is kinda where we are, right? Everyone else is awesome, except me. High opinion of others, a low opinion of yourself. That is called insecure, you’re insecure. And we’ve all been there and we all will be there again, so that’s just a common feeling. Okay, I understand that you think everyone’s better than you, and everyone’s been there. Read: The Importance of Self-Esteem: What Is It & How to Build Self-Esteem
Do you ever see a picture of a whole group photo? What do you look at first? Yourself, what do you say? Oh, my hair doesn’t look good, oh, my teeth are all funny, can you take it again? That’s what I’m talking about, that’s insecurity. You think everyone else looks awesome, except you. So what is confidence? Well, guess what, surprise, surprise, it’s the last box, it’s having a high opinion of yourself and a high opinion of others at the same time. Otherwise, you’re being arrogant or you’re being insecure.
Have a High Opinion of Yourself and a High Opinion of Others at the Same Time
Remembering that little mapping is very helpful for me because you know what? Oftentimes, now when I hear like an author had a great book that ballooned and hit the bestseller list or somewhere others, someone else’s YouTube channel has millions of subscribers, mine doesn’t! You can look on the side. I got like a thousand people following this if that. You know what? I’m now thinking, that’s great for them. And I’m also trying to think to myself, I’m good too, you know what? I’m putting out a video that I’m proud of, I’m talking about things that I’m really passionate about, the people that have found me, the people that have found this community, they’re my people, that’s a good place to get to.
High opinion of yourself and a high opinion of others at the same time. Hold onto that idea and test your brain whenever you’re thinking something, am I thinking, “I’m good, and I’m thinking other good.” And if all else fails and none of that stuff works, just get a lot older and it’ll all be okay. If you haven’t already, keep the conversation going. Hit subscribe, leave me a comment, interact with me a little bit, drop me a line, and also feel free, you know where I get all these questions from? From people in the comments leaving me questions. So if you have a question and you’d like me to answer it, give my shot at answering, drop me a line below so I can do it next time.